Buoy Don’t Float

It sucks. It’s not that I can’t sleep, but no matter how hard I try I can’t get refreshing sleep. It’s funny because I’ve been dreaming more than ever. It’s up from one memorable dream a month to maybe two a night. It’s kind of bothersome because my dreams are of the foreboding type. For instance, one my last dreams took place on a boat with LOTS OF PEOPLE. Unthinkable bad events kept occurring and every time some one would sacrifice them-self to save the rest of the group. Finally, after a hundred or so events the second to last survivor sacrifices himself so that I can live. I think he gave me a boost and then drowned. Selfish? Yeah, I am. Much more gory detail to that one. =X

I feel 70% no matter what I do. Coffee, full throttle, cigarettes, alcohol, sunlight, talking to mom, seeping on the floor–nothings working!

On a happier, buoyant note, I’m traveling the world this summer. Trip starts in London and ends in my favorite, Hong Kong. I’ve got that worried and excited “first kiss” feeling if you know what I mean. Eastern Europe is with the roomies but after that it’s on my own. Oddly enough, I think I really need to throw my life away before I can respect myself. Hopefully, I’ll survive.

My birthday was a couple weeks ago. One of the more exciting ones, definitely. Yet, birthdays are so uncomfortable. Really, it’s not so much you celebrating but instead it’s your friends finding an occasion to celebrate. I’ve been wanting to post about my birthday for a while but now that I get around to it my brain is suddenly empty. It was a somber 22, but I did feel loved.

I’ve been very introverted lately and it disgusts me–not that I’m silent, I find joy in good silence. But really, sometimes I just have nothing to say. Either I get lost in thought or I’m void of interesting conversation. I feel like the guy in Dorian Gray. He was only a passing character at one of Lord Henry’s dinners. A guy in his 30’s, quiet and introverted, not because he was uninteresting but because he had said everything worth saying before the age of 30. Makes me fear that with age comes less revelations and a steeper learning curve for wisdom.