Buoy Don’t Float

To tell the truth, I still haven’t had that time where you feel like the occasional post. So last time I wrote, I figured I would write it in my sketchpad and revise it later. Well, that later never came, so here it is in its raw yet beautiful form:

I’ve come to hate America so much I’m almost communist.

Going to China has changed a lot of my views. Just in asian countries in general there is so much more honor, respect, and just nice people. They’re taught when they’re young–the first thing they learn, actually–is that the normal nature of man is good. In the states, we’re taught when we’re in our late teens that man is inherently selfish.

I’m finding myself very lethargic lately and I havent exactly figured out why. But just now I think I might have an answer–or at least the hint of one. I think my mind is in conflict over my view of myself: mainly ideals. Somehow, this conflict is affecting my whole perspective on the future. Being an industrial engineer is selfish. I don’t see myself helping other people anywhere down the line. All I see is me working and watching out for my own ass. Making money and living the suburban home and 2.5 kid lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that in America, right? However, China has planted the roots of sympathy in my veins. Man is suppose to be good, so I feel like I can actually help people exude this goodness that they innately have. In America talk, fucked-up people are fucked-up because they’re stupid or misfortune or some other scapegoat of a reason. They would have us believe that they’re is no hope for fucked-up people. But China makes me think otherwise! So should I be a bioengineer then?

Fuck I hate when I think too much…

Oh yeah, and I wish berkeley was more like it used to be, or more like we’ve read about it was. Sounds a lot cooler in books than it actually is nowadays. And it hurts when all the alumnis return and are all disappointed with what Berkeley has become. The top dog guy said it right when he said the demographics have changed, berkeley is now filled with serious dorks, and that people want it to stay as it was so bad that the good is leaving, but the ugly remains.

It’s funny because I fall under that. In fact, I’m exactly that. By demographics I’m pretty sure he meant asian. The new dominance of asians on campus in most UCs. On Berkeley, the asians just care too much. Not to generalize but thats the feeling I get. Anyway, its as if the whole student body is just here for the education now. Somehow the prestige overshadowed the wild libertarian views. Instead i see too many people stacking their schedules with too many classes in order to earn triple majors. Students take two jobs to make money or they do internships and study groups. If those fail, they throw away their precious leisure time to join ethnicity clubs or just party: same thing because they both are just people too lazy to organize a social life and too burnt out to care. That’s the real problem with Berkeley. People need to start finding that one thing they care about so much and supporting it. Nevermind that you’re just one person. Nevermind that you’re at Berkeley for an education. Nevermind everything else. I’m not saying throw everything away. I;m saying that everyone has it: that one ounce of care for something other than themself. All I’m saying is to let it out. So what you don’t get that second or third major requirement completed. People need to understand that berkeley is the premier college for provoking social upheaval. Heck, we represent a lot of our generation in that we’re expected to act first. Be it protest, boycott, or running around naked. If berkely students won’t do it, how will the rest of the nation follow. It seems like the whole age group of college students–a HUGE and EDUCATED portion of society–is silent. Instead, old people, ignorant people, the list goes on. They all are deciding whats going on in our nation. And on top of that, they aren’t keeping the governement in check. That’s what college students and universities are for. They’re for checking the governement. Checks and balances…

What really exemplifies what I’m trying to say is doctors. They overstack every aspect of their life to the brim. They have little leisure time as it is. On top of that, they get a lot of credit. Everyone thinks they’re the greatest person and that they’re doing a good thing. I think they’re selfish! They are focusing mainly on themselves and provide time only for their future. On top of that, most of what they do is benefitting them, if not monetarily, then in utils. They get the satisfaction of helping people on an individual basis. The praise and thanks that they get is a wonderful feeling, I’m sure. If you know me you know that I think engineers are more praiseworthy, but that isn’t the subject right now. The premeds of berkeley could be helping people now. Through social movements. On campus. Never a time will they have as much power as they do on the Berkeley campus. Their are minds to steer. Doctors without borders? That’s selfish. You can achieve more in support of that cause raising awareness on campus. Of course, you don’t even have to give up a future goal to participate in a social movement. So its not asking for everything, just a little time set aside to educate yourself to NOT BE IGNORANT. Isn’t that what education really is? Learn about the world and exact change using your knowledge. We are the gifted…